Day 10: June 17, 2009

(In the style of Chris Berman) And she could. . . go. . . all. . .the. . . way!

I have been doing the lindy hop all day in celebration of my last SWF, which, by the way, did not go all the way down. I’ve been close to upchucking it several times the last 9 days, but finally on day 10, I failed at controlling the gag reflex, despite my best efforts. So, that last little bit of salt water never made it to its destination, but rather ended up in the sink. No matter. I still drank enough salt water to do its intended job, if you get my drift.

So, my tongue is still coated with a white-greyish layer, and I am still expelling solid stuff, so more than likely, I am not totally “clean” yet. That apparently indicates I should go a couple more days. However, I am definitely not going to do that. I am done and waving the white flag. I know that most of my hunger is probably psychological at this point, but there is nothing mental about your tummy rumbling. At least I don’t think so. . . well, come to think of it. What DOES it mean when your stomach growls? I’m gonna look it up right now. Pause. Type, type, type. Browse. Hmmm, interesting. According to the Mayo Clinic, my hypothalamus has sent hunger signals to my stomach, which in turn has triggered muscle contractions and “the release of acids and other digestive fluids.” That crazy hypothalamus. I guess “mind over matter” doesn’t always work. Some stuff is just physiological.

As I write this, I am finishing up my last liter of “lemonade.” I’ll go out on a limb and predict that I won’t miss it. I also will not miss the tongue burning and fuzzy teeth side effects of the lemonade. It has already been established, numerous times already, that I will NOT miss the SWF. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to USE table salt after that overexposure.

I just saw on ad for an egg and cheese melt, or something equally diabolical, for 99 cents at Dunkin’ Donuts. I would love that in my belly right about now. But, truthfully, when I think about what my body needs, it is healthy foods that I crave. Last night, I made black beans with soy crumbles and brown rice. I could have eaten the heck out of that. Tonight, I made gardenburgers and (baked) sweet potato fries. Oh yeah. Equally devour-worthy.

It takes a little wind out of my sails to know that I will not be having solids for two more days. I’ve got two more days of juice, albeit fresh juice sans cayenne pepper, which should make it a bit more palatable. But, I will be thrilled to bite into anything come Saturday, even if it is lettuce, carrots and celery all the day long (which I don’t predict will be my first meal in 12 days. . . I’ll keep you posted!).

For those who are eager to know what my final post-cleanse weight loss is, I will be posting it tomorrow, since that will technically be the end of the cleanse. . . I’m curious to see how the “ease-out” will affect the weight loss, so I’ll probably post about that, too. The reason I didn’t post my weight again after Day 3 is because every other weigh-in was pretty anti-climactic—a pound here, a half a pound there. Apparently, that first batch of water weight being lost is the most dramatic, in addition to whatever else got flushed along with it.

Well, I’ve got some more lindy hopping to do, so I’ll call it a night. Day 10 done. Master cleanse, part 1, officially over. Wowsers. Someone oughta send me to Disney World.