The current project: 90-day remake challenge!

The current project: 90-day remake challenge!
Trying to inhabit the body that's been there all along

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Day 2: June 9, 2009

My fellow cleanser, Lexi, sent me this little gem last night: “After several days many Master Cleanse dieters report entering a state of bliss that is either the result of the continuing elimination of toxins, or else a state similar to the tranquil experience that people who are starving to death have shortly before dying.” Ahhhha. Classic.

As I awoke this morning, I was very aware of my body being sore. I’m fairly certain this has to do with my little surge of worker bee yesterday, but I would be thrilled if it were a sign of detoxification. I do not think that is possible just yet. . . it’ll probably take longer than one day or else this darn fast wouldn’t be 10 days long.

So as wonderful and “Tigger” bouncy as I felt yesterday, I feel as close to the opposite of that today. I am lackluster, foggy, droopy, uncomfortable, listless. I am grey. It is raining and damp, which always affects my physical and mental state. I used to love a rainy day, and I still do in theory—the cuddly-up, hot chocolate, fleece blanket, good book part of it. But as I’ve gotten older, I find that rainy or overcast days really affect my well-being. I can not get motivated on rainy days. I usually eat a bunch of junky food. I’m a tad bit cranky (or maybe a lot bit cranky—hubby would be a better judge of that). So, we have all that going on today. Add in there that I’m hungry, and you have a pretty miserable, joyless girl. I also think I lost my funny, so if funny is what you’re after, you better look at my two archived posts. Maybe a side effect of this detox is that you cleanse out your funny. That would be a shame.

The SWF went much better today on the drinking end. I found that in this particular case, the colder is NOT the better. I tried luke warm and that went remarkably better. I was able to chug a liter in three gulps, which would be especially handy if I were in a contest at a frat party. Shout out to my peeps at Kappa Gamma Delta! (My apologies if I just made up a REAL fraternity/sorority.)

The SWF went much worse on the exiting end. Yesterday, I was able to get rid of the SWF after a couple of sittings. Today took me over an hour and several sittings, which is not the easiest as you are trying to mother a needy toddler with a pretty inflexible morning routine. Luckily, we have purchased her a “potty” in preparation for potty-training and she quite enjoys sitting on it while mama sits on hers. Needless to say, Kaya got a lot of practice on her potty sitting skills today.

On the upside, I haven’t felt sick or been attacked by killer headaches, which was something people warned me about. I have been on the brink of several headaches, but have been able to ward them off with some heavy swills of H20. I’m getting quite adept at drinking on this cleanse, a skill that I probably didn’t need any help in perfecting. I have felt dizzy a couple times today. This would not really be a problem if lying prostrate was allowed, but my boss (Kaya) doesn’t allow loafing on the job.

One challenge of the day has been any challenge whatsoever. In other words, any slight complication to a simple task caused me to feel as if the world was ending. Kaya had an especially toddler-esque lunch time. She cried out for yogurt, but when I got it out of the fridge and offered it to her, she screamed and clamped her mouth shut. Then, I tried to feed her (scream); then, I tried to give her the spoon (scream); I tried to feed her (nope); I tried to give her the spoon (SCREAM!!!). I put the yogurt away—more screaming. I got the yogurt back out—more screaming and clamping of the mouth. I put the yogurt away for the third time. . . well, the point is, this went on for some time. Jere, who is as severe with discipline as a baby bunny, actually gave her a time-out. I don’t know which of the three of us was more shocked.

Most challenges of the day would not have been challenging at all to a normal, well or moderately well-fed individual—that not being me. As I was putting some paper bags away, I knocked off a few envelopes from Jere’s filing cabinet and almost started crying. I just knew that the effort it would take to put them back was more than I could exert. I thought about leaving them there on the floor, but then my brain kicked in (briefly) and told me to cowboy up and put them back, which I did successfully without incident. I DID shed tears when Big Papi hit a home run and received a curtain call at Fenway. But, let’s be honest. I probably would have cried over that regardless of any cleanse.

Again I was reminded of the psychological need to eat many times today. Even when my stomach didn’t “feel” hungry, I found my hand going toward my mouth with whatever food was close to the hand. This was especially dangerous when there were some tater tots and magic cookie bars close to that hand. I told Jere he had to clean out the pan with the remaining cookie bars (a treat I made for a mom’s picnic last Thursday) since I could not be trusted in their general vicinity, and luckily, Kaya ate all her tater tots and did her part at eradicating temptation for me. But it was a far stronger urge today than yesterday, which made me believe that there is some primal instinct taking over my body. Maybe I should audition for Survivor.

One more complaint: the lemonade wasn’t nearly as tasty today. And it made my teeth hurt. But, on the bright side, I have some nice minty tea waiting for me now, the Red Sox beat the tar out of the Yankees, Big Papi seems to be out of his season-long slump, and another day of this cleanse is almost over. Day 2 is in the blog books.

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