The current project: 90-day remake challenge!

The current project: 90-day remake challenge!
Trying to inhabit the body that's been there all along

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Day 1 on Master Cleanse: June 8, 2009

Current weight: 171 lbs. : (

I am very sad about reporting my weight, though I know that I deserve that number, as I’ve been excessively indulgent this last month. But to think that I was 162.5 on my weigh-in before I went to Minnesota on May 6, which means I’ve gained 8.5 lbs in about a month. Yikes. This just reiterates my need to psychologically change my understanding of what food is for. Too often, I eat out of craving or because it’s what I think will taste the best. I really hope that cleansing will help me change this pattern of behavior.

So, speaking of unhealthy eating habits, my last meal last night was a good one. . . I rationalized it by saying I might never have cooked foods again (that would be a victory, huh?). (Note: there is some very good advice out there that you should do an “ease-in” to the Master Cleanse. I decided not to because I’ve done cleanses before, though nothing this drastic, and had been eating a relatively healthy diet for four months just a month before I started. If you are used to lots of overly processed foods and fast foods, it makes a lot of sense to ease-in, as to not shock the system more than the MC already will.) So, I indulged on Crab Rangoon and Pad Sa-Eaw (Thai food), which is a yummy rice noodle dish bathed in dark soy sauce. Jere (husband) rocks for going to the local Thai joint (one of the only restaurants in our tiny town, and luckily a GOOD Thai restaurant at that) and pampering me before I was a dead woman walking.

I drank Yogi’s “Get Regular” tea afterwards and looked with anticipation to the day ahead.

Unfortunately, I ate the Thai food too late last night, so I woke up STARVING. That always happens to me when I eat too late. . . usually any time after 7 is dangerous. I guess this just reiterates what my father and other health professionals always say. Don’t eat after 7 PM! It’s like feeding the gremlins after midnight. Bad things will happen.

No matter. My resolve is strong. I made Kaya her breakfast. . . she only wants Cheerios with soy milk these days. I buy her multigrain so I don’t feel as bad about it. But, I coerced her into some scrambled eggs and prunes as well. I actively ignored the Morning Star prosage links staring at me from the freezer. . . one of my favorite breakfast foods.

I did my first salt water flush (SWF) first thing in the morning. I gotta say that it was more than just mildly disgusting. I had flashbacks of almost drowning at Cape Hatteras my freshman year of college, except during that episode my skull was being crushed against a jetty as I was guzzling the salt water. I wonder if I might have been a nuclear physicist or something else ultra-genius if that brain trauma hadn’t happened? Anyway, I remember thinking as I was drinking the solution this morning, “I’d rather be having a baby than drinking this crap.” Maybe I can make that into a bumper sticker. “I’d rather be having a baby than looking at you” or “I’d rather be having a baby than listening to Dick Cheney”. . . insert wittiness here.

On a positive note, I rather enjoyed the effects of the SWF. After about 30 minutes, I started feeling some churning “down there.” Then, about 10 minutes later, I rushed to the bathroom and what happened next is probably best described as a water slide rushing out of your bung hole. Totally tubular! For all the constipation I’ve had throughout my life, I’m amazed that no one ever told me of this natural fix-it. If you haven’t done it for yourself, you should totally check it out. It almost makes the revolting part of drinking the salt water worthwhile.

So, with that part accomplished, I proceeded to fix my “lemonade.” Luckily, Jere (again, a rockin’ husband) bought me a juicer around Thanksgiving when my gallbladder was on a very violent strike (throwing punches, spraying mace, laying in front of tanks, and what not) after over-indulging at Liz and Neal’s friend Thanksgiving. So, juicing my four lemons was a piece of lemon cake with lemon icing (soooo hungry as I write this), and the juice I got was enough for my entire allotment of lemonade for the day. I carefully measured out my lemon juice, maple syrup (Grade B), and cayenne pepper, and then filled my snappy, green Camelbak water bottle (BPA-free!) up to the 32 ounce mark. I reluctantly took a sip and was pleasantly surprised. Spicy Countrytime! Okay, not exactly, but after the SWF, it tasted like gourmet cocktail hour.

It struck me very early into the day how psychologically dependent on food I am. I began to feel depressed since I couldn’t look forward to what I was going to eat that day. I explained these thoughts to Jere and he said, “Hmmm. I kinda think of eating as a chore. I wish I didn’t have to interrupt my day doing it.” After I got over my feelings of wanting to bop him on the nose, I got down and dirty with my psyche (a fun past time, if you’ve never tried it). How much of my life has been wasted thinking of what I was going to eat later; or been taken over by cravings for a certain food to the extent that I HAD to have it or suffer being obsessed with the thought of it for the next several days! All these times I could have been living in the present, enjoying whatever wonderful, profound, simple thing life offers on a daily basis. Alright. I’ll stop getting all zen on you.

So, I don’t know if it was the SWF or the fresh juice or the maple syrup or the pepper or the beautiful 70 degree weather, but I had boundless energy this first day. I went into deep cleaning mode and was able to get to every room on the main floor (our basement is beyond hope, I’m afraid). Here and there I would feel pangs of hunger, but I would take a swig of lemonade and go about my manic cleaning spree. Perhaps, psychologically, since I knew there was cleaning being done on the inside, I wanted my external environment to also be clean? I don’t know, but I’m thrilled by this turn of events, as is my husband.

Many times throughout the day, I had to remind myself that I was not allowed to eat. Obviously, it is just about automatic: hunger = refrigerator. Compound that with the fact that I have a 19 month old daughter (holy moley! I just realized that my baby girl is 19 months exactly today!) to feed, and any mother knows that it is easy to get into the habit of “cleaning” your child’s plate for him/her. Well, I managed to stop myself mid-grab on several occasions. Phew. Luckily, my brain took over, which perhaps indicates that my brain is getting fixed. Well, looky here. The cleanse is working already!

Our internet access was finally reinstated (or whatever “techie” term you might use) around 9:00 PM, at which point I went online and read some other blogs of people’s first days on the MC. Around 10:00 PM, I had a refreshing cup of Yogi tea, and was not hungry at all after I finished it. I made it through Day 1!

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